Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Prep Work

Me and kiddo are leaving tomorrow to visit her grandparents in Florida. Yay for us, boo for Krishna who chose not to come. This is the first time he is going to be separated from his little love and the first time in a very long that we will be separated from each other. I haven't had much time to think about it though because I have been busy.

I've been preparing meals for him, making lists, and talking with him about what I can't get done because I won't be here. He's good at making meals for himself but I felt I should have some things prepped for him, things like a stew with sausage and carrots, poached chicken for tacos. I wrote down the number for our neighborhood restaurant where he could order a burger. I baked blueberry muffins and stashed some in the freezer. I went grocery shopping for all the other stuff he'd need throughout the week.

I cleaned the house earlier this week and cleaned again this afternoon. I left clear instructions for where to pick up our last CSA delivery. He needs to meet up with another neighbor to pick up some meat (we are splitting a fourth of a cow). Goodness. When I planned this trip I had no idea that these deliveries would happen all in the week that I will be away.

I'm listing these things here because doing so helps me see all that I contribute to the household. I feel grateful for all the years of support he provided. But understanding my value has helped our relationship. I can see myself move away from the insecure, needing attention all time person that I was a few years ago. And that is a very good thing.

Have you all seen Downton Abbey? I've watched the first season and it had a tremendously uplifting effect on me. I saw for the first the value of fine, quality service. I take pride in maintaining this home he has provided for us. Living this way is so much easier and I'm glad to be content in this way.

But now that I've had a few minutes to blog and post a photo, I'm feeling a bit sad. It was 11 degrees above zero today. My mother said it's a bit cold in Florida, it's in the 70s. That sounds plenty warm to me.

Friday, January 11, 2013


I've always dreamed about having a threesome, picking up some yummy someone to share the evening with, to share Krishna with, to explore and generally to revel in the joy. That was a fantasy...

...little did I know how my fantasy would come true.

But that dream turned out to be very different from a hot, steamy encounter.

In fact, we did go out one night and come back a couple days later with a new little lady. We brought her home and spent many evenings with her. We explored and had tons of joy.

We had a daughter. How things change!

She's almost three years old and life is so different. Mostly for the better. Actually much, much better.

Our relationship has...hmmmm? Evolved? I don't know. Our intimate moments are further apart, but sweeter and more intense, and now mostly confined to the bedroom. All the implements are put away but probably needing better hiding places. Now He turns to more everyday things like belts, hands, and clothespins.

It is interesting how our relationship priorities have distinguished us from our parental peers (not at all implying that we share with others this thing we do!). Our little love sleeps in her own bed and has done so since she was four months old. I share a bed with my husband. Besides, this sort of threesome in our bed leads to a lot of kicking and pushing - ever tried sleeping with a toddler?

So let me say this because I need to have this disclaimer: Parenting is a very personal, individualized thing to do. Not unlike all intimate relationships. If you read something here that pricks you the wrong way, know that I only wish to express myself in a safe space and have absolutely no intention of judging other people's ways of living and growing. Except that I do at times because I live within a community and most times, self is defined by other.

I have been very vocal about prioritizing our relationship and maybe I should not have been this way. Parenting these days seems to put the priority on the child. Loose bedtimes and shared family beds are all the rage in my neighborhood. I feel like the odd one out. But I also feel great knowing I have an even stronger relationship with Krishna.

Date nights are all the rage, too. Except date nights here mean mostly hanging out with another couple to share stories of toddler chaos over a meal. And while we have done a few of these, I can count on the fact that nearly every weekend night feels like date night, staying home and spending time with each other, whether that means being fondled in front of the fireplace or being spanked on top of the flannel sheets.

I guess my point is that we have things to do together, alone, and in the house (enabled by sleeping child). And, I believe, we as a family are better off for it.

A family of three. A threesome by definition. Threesomes rock!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Coming back...

I'm coming back soon, I hope.

 First, I have some cleaning up to do.

 Posts have been writing themselves in my head so hopefully my fingers will play along and get me back to this blog.

 Stay tuned.

 Much love, Radha

Sunday, February 5, 2012